Grace and Friendship by Sr. Margie McGuire

Genuine friendship is a priceless treasure, beautiful to behold, but not easy or painless to attain. Friendships can be formed at every age and any moment along life’s journey. Often friendships develop quietly, gradually over a period of time; but sometimes they arise unexpectedly, surprising us with whole new depths of intimacy and joy, causing our rather predictable world to explode with potential for a richer, fuller human life.

We often speak of friendship as if it has a life of its own. A friendship is “born” of certain circumstances, “develops” and “grows” through shared experiences, and finally “matures” or tragically “dies.” Talking about friendship this way provides us with a fundamental insight—that this relationship is vibrant, dynamic and has a profound effect upon the quality of our lives.

Scripture invites believers to understand “grace” as a relationship of friendship with God. The invitation is clearly initiated by God, but “divine friendship” can only be a meaningful term for the graced-life if friendship is a valuable human relationship. As we learn to cherish our friends and to reverence the work and sacrifice required for such relationships to endure, so too shall we cherish the love of our God and come to recognize his overtures of friendship towards us.

God chose Abraham to be his friend. Just as each human friendship is unique, God’s choice of Abraham was personal and deliberate. Friendship involves great risk, for friends reveal their deepest thoughts, entrusting the secrets of their hearts to one another. Therefore, friendship presupposes a reasonable confidence that this mutual investment of trust will not be betrayed. Thus God sought to elicit trust from his friend:

Fear not, Abraham, I am your shield.
I will make your reward very great.
(Genesis 15:1)

Assured of God’s trustworthiness, Abraham was opened to receive and to give, open to engage in all the new possibilities that life directed by this unique relationship to God might mean. Friendships change people. Abram changed. He became “Abraham,” the elongation of his name symbolizing the expansion of his descendants. He became the Father of a great nation, and through his friendship with God his children’s’ children were also blessed.

But you, Israel, my servant,
offspring of Abraham, my friend…
Fear not, I am with you;
be not dismayed; I am your God.
(Isaiah 41:8-10)

Like their Father in Faith, the people of Israel are told not to fear. Elected by God, graced by this solid relationship of fidelity toward them, they learn what to expect from their Friend. And we, like them, are encouraged to respond as did Abraham.

Abraham believed God,
and it was credited to him as justice:
for this he received the title “God’s friend.”
(James 2:23)

In the fullness of time, God’s covenant of friendship with his people was permanently forged in his servant Jesus, Son of Abraham, Son of the Father. Jesus knew the importance of friendship, forming this relationship with many including Lazarus, Martha and Mary. Even the Baptist called himself “friend of the Bridegroom.” John, the beloved disciple, was uniquely loved, as were his brother James, and Peter and Andrew. Each friend was respected in uniqueness of individuality, for the love of friendship dose not measure or compare one relationship to another. Jesus entrusted himself to Judas as to the other eleven, still addressing him as friend in Gethsemane. Betrayal in friendship is a fierce thing. The Psalmist could understand that his enemies should whisper together against him, but that “my friend who had my trust and partook of my bread has raised his heel against me”—this wound seemed incurable (Ps. 41:10). Yet Jesus remained faithful to his chosen friendships to the end, saying:

I call you friends,
since I have made known to you
all that I heard from my Father.
It was not you who chose me,
it was I who chose you.
(John 15:15-16)

In laying down his life, Jesus’ friendship was put to the ultimate test. In his dying for us, he has given perfect sign to the magnitude of God’s love and the extent to which his love may make demands upon our lives as his friends as well. The effects of friendship are far reaching, as can be seen in the attitude of St. Thomas More expressed in a letter to his close friend: “…The fact that (a certain person) is your friend shall weigh with me more heavily than that he is my enemy.” Surely the impact and effect of the redemptive mission of Christ is infinitely greater! Because Jesus befriended humanity, loving his own even unto death, he put our enmity with God in death on the cross. His friendship with us was redeeming grace; it “weighed more” with God than all the sins of the world.

All of us have reflected at one time or another upon those special people whose friendship has been the source of great grace in our life. The Word for us now is that God’s grace can be the invitation to greater friendship with him, if only we would reflect upon the depths of his love for us in Christ Jesus.